i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Too much gin, very little bucket
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
