Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize