One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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