porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
