ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
