erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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