I can't breathe out the right side of my face
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
