wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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