Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
