It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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