watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
