Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
