butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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