i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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