How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
