im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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