you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize