He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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