he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
