mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm passing your future prison.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
