on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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