u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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