1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So gin and wine won't be happening again
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
