She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
