I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
from now on my penis is your penis
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
