My first STD was from a foam party
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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