No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
