You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I am spending my child support on dildos
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
