great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Vodka?
Forever.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
