I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
