He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My cat gives me a boner
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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