if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
