I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have already put on my inside pants.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
