3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
