Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
