So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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