More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
