What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
