I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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