To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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