Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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