Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
