I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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