How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
