Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
