I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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