i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
