i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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