stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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