The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I want her autograph on my taint
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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