he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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