wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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