bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
