Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
