I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
