Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
