My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
