Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
