my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
