At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
