I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
