so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize