I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
