Already got asked if we're dating
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
