I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
