pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
