ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
