Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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