doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize