Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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