You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
