She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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