Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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