Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
