if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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