I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
