I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
