What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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