I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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