Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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