Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
okay pat passed out under dana's car
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
