wat bout pragnant strippers??
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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